It was a Saturday, just like today, the perfect time to
make your flat more like an Emmental. As it happens, a neighbour started to drill.
Another one, that is Edgar Nuts, was pouring milk into his morning cup of tea. He
jumped at the sound and as a result spilt some milk on the kitchen cupboard and
on his trousers and on the floor.
“Blimey, these people!” he shook his head at the
damage.
Mrs Nuts came in dashing. “What’s all the uproar?” she asked.
Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
“Oh, dear,” Mrs
Nuts glanced up probably both glowering at the neighbours and calling for help
from above.
Wrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Wrr. Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Wrrrrrr. Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
“Unbelievable!”
Mr Nuts paced nervously to and fro. “The audacity of these people…on a sunny
Saturday morning…unbelievable,” he grumbled under his breath. In the meantime,
Mrs Nuts cleaned the floor and the cupboard.
“And Edgar,
please, don’t forget to…”
“I know, I
know, love. Don’t worry.”
Mr Nuts changed
his trousers and they both went on in their usual Saturday.
The clock
struck 13 o’clock when Mrs Nuts served tomato soup.
“Smells delicious,”
Mr Nuts winked. The first spoon of the tomato soup was on its way to Mr Nuts’
mouth when a nasty wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
sent its content flying about and soaking in Mr Nuts’ shirt and the
tablecloth.
“I…” Mr Nuts
dropped the spoon into the soup plate, which resulted in an even bigger mess. “One.
Can’t even. Enjoy. One. Bloody. Meal.” Mr Nuts hissed through gritted teeth. He
shook with anger.
“Edgar,
please,” Mrs Nuts tried to hush him. Mr Nuts left the room shaking his head. It took Mrs
Nuts quite a while to make her husband sit at the lunch table again. He never
liked his food when he was angry. Mr and Mrs Nuts, fuming and sighing
respectively, ate in silence. While cleaning the table, Mrs Nuts looked at her
husband and with a hesitant voice said: “Edgar, I’d really like you to…”
“I know,
sweetheart, I know,” Mr Nuts butt in making his way to the living room.
“Ehm, before
it’s too late, Edgar,” Mrs Nuts called after him.
“Sure.”
Mr Nuts wasn’t meant
to enjoy a little peace in the afternoon either. He sat in his favourite
armchair with his eyes closed, thinking of the yummy cupcake he caught a
glimpse of when he was taking the milk out of the fridge in the morning. He
hoped dearly that Mrs Nuts wouldn’t mind if it disappeared suddenly. “That would be the only good thing of this
day,” he thought. Mr Nuts was halfway successfully sneaked into the kitchen
when he stopped in his tracks. “NOT AGAIN YOU BLOODY..!” It seemed that his
every move was accompanied by the drilling sound. Not even a cupcake could
help. “…why would you do it in one go, when you can systematically annoy others
multiple times…so that nobody’ll be deprived of the joy of a bit of wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” Mr Nuts got
all red in the face.
The atmosphere
in the evening was very tense. Mrs Nuts wasn’t able to delight in watching the
274th episode of her favourite TV programme nor could she remind her
husband of his promise. Mr Nuts was just scowling and mumbling something about
the neighbours. His day had been ruined.
All of a
sudden, he jumped up and froze. Then he looked desperately at Mrs Nuts and
quietly said: “I’m so sorry, darling,” and off he was. Mrs Nuts just kept
staring at the place he had just abandoned.
Mr Nuts
returned with a drill in his hand and a framed picture in the other.
“Edgar,…”
“Don’t worry,
love, it’ll be just a second. I’m so sorry. I’ve almost forgotten.”
“Isn’t it too…”
“You even
marked the cross. Brilliant!” Mr Nuts smiled to himself.
…late?” Mrs
Nuts finally finished her question.
Mr Nuts’ tongue
stuck out, while he was concentrating on screwing on the right drill.
“Very quick.
And you can finally hang this thing up.” He continued to fumble with the drill.
“Edgar, I don’t
think it’s appropriate to…” Mrs Nuts glanced at the clock. 21.16. “Well, it’s not like people would be already
in bed. At least I can finally hang the lovely picture up,” she thought.
“Honey, you
know I hate when somebody doesn’t keep a promise. I’m not one of those people. I mean, come on.”
Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
